
I am in an intensive neglect-everything-eat-fast-food-cram-your-brain--your-job-depends-on-it type of mode. Tomorrow I will be taking the CSET Math SubSet I for the third time. I was 9 points then 15 points away. Its the ONE thing that is stopping me from getting a job as a real teacher. I was kinda a faker last year with not being "highly qualified." I passed SUBSET II (Geometry & stats) and this is the last tough hurdle. Its to the point that I am sick of it. I thought I ma have passed last time, thinking, i can squeeze in nine measly points.. but then found I am now further with 15 points away.
And here i sit studying formulas, theorems, inductions, matrixes, dot products cross products, vectors, proofs. My brain is swimming.
And every so often it clicks I look at my notations, I look at my computer screen (there are some great resources) and I get it. I really do. And then as I sleep it slowly seeps out of my brain.

So pray for me today, tonight, tomorrow (5 hours in a freakin' freezing room with ten pencils and a water bottle w/o the label) and pray for my nerves, and the peace I will get when my results come in next month. Just pray I don't fall apart. I am so sick of jumping through these hoops. Its like I can see the other side.... but through a telescope.